ultraviolet9a | Cadaver

>>Cadaver

TITLE: Cadaver
AUTHOR:

ultraviolet9a
SPOILER: for 3.16 in SPN
GENRE: gen
CHARACTERS: Winchesters and… others.
SUMMARY: Would be a spoiler. But it’s not what you think.
RATING: PG13
FEEDBACK: Dude…duh.
DISCLAIMER: Owning would be awesome in a perfect world.
BETA: by her shiny awesomeness,

pdragon76

There’s power in names, everyone knows it that knows anything about true magic. The old magic, of blood and bones and salt and earth. Everyone knows.

So let’s call this Cadaver. I reckon Sam would say that Corpse would be the exact word, but everyone knows that the exact word ain’t always the right one. And Cadaver feels right for this. Makes me not feel too much. About this. All of this. My words, the ground beneath us, the sky above us, the sparks around us, the night falling. This… this is not a story, this is the now, but I don’t know how else to call it, the way time and earth dance around.

But, if this was a story, it’d be called Cadaver. So let’s assume it is one, alright? Lord knows I like telling stories, and no story can be a proper one without a name. Even when it’s not a story exactly, just the flame and the woods and the stars and the ground. You’ll catch my drift.

.:::.

So this story’s called Cadaver. You probably think this is a story about Dean, about how his savaged body was held in his gutted brother’s arms. How Sam’s tears fell soundlessly on dead skin and didn’t bring Dean back, cuz that only happens in fairytales, and this story is not a fairytale, never has been. Life’s not a fairytale, not by a long shot, I reckon. Even when a story’s made out of one.

John had told me that too, when I told him to go and try and get his life fixed. Stubborn son of a bitch, wouldn’t do that, but in the long run guess he was psychic, cuz it turned out alright. Could’ve been worse. He taught his boys how to survive, and somehow they learned how to live as well, even when their daddy forgot about it. Don’t matter.

What matters is that somehow, they pulled through. John saved his boys, and his boys saved him, and now I know he’s with Mary somewhere. And the yellow eyed demon tearing them apart is dead, and spit and dance on his grave too, hallelujah.

But this is not the now. This was then. And indeed there was Dean dead and savaged by claws and teeth, soul dragged to Hell, God help us. And there was Sam, John’s and Dean’s Sammy, all grown up and grief inked inside of him. And murder. Not the sweet boy I remembered, this grief ran deeper, even deeper than when his Jess died, God bless her.

And this is what this story (which ain’t exactly a story) is about. It’s about love. And grief. And choices. And I think I made the right ones. I was the one to put John on his path, wherever that led. And now I’m the one that puts Dean back on his path. Not the exact path, but the right one, you know?

Cuz Sam needed me, see. Needed the focus, needed my raw power and guidance. He didn’t know I’d burn inside out. I saw it. And I chose it. A life for a life, seems only fair. For this family. These boys.

And they’re treating me alright when all’s said and done.

When Dean got back, I was already dead. I stood near them as Sam hugged his brother, as Dean blinked into the light, his once dead body healing up with new life, just as mine had drained. Bobby watched them as he covered my face with his jacket and took his hat off.

And when that was done, when the day spun, they cleansed and wrapped me up and built a pyre for me. Woods around and the sparks flying as I watched myself burn. Knew I could stay for a little while longer, just a little, just till the fire went out. Cuz I know about souls, know my way around, you see? Makes staying a bit longer easier, and fairer, fair cuz the burden I’ve had to bear’s been so hard sometimes. Knowing things. Seeing things. Feeling things. Choosing. Always having to choose.

There was no other way. I’m no fool, dying wasn’t something I looked forward to. But it was worth it. I got no family. No one will miss me or mark my passing. No one but them. They’ll remember me, might remember all of this. I might remember all of this, wherever I end up and Lord knows right now I’m not sure if it’s gonna be up or down. But I’ll be alright. So long as I remember. So long as all of this bears a true name. Like… I don’t know. Cadaver. Just a dead body is all. My soul is still mine.

“Missouri,” Dean says as his brother bears his weight. And I feel this, feel the tingle of life through me as my name is uttered, feel the light around me.

There’s power in names, everyone knows it that knows anything about true magic. The old magic, of blood and bones and salt and earth.

Everyone knows.

-The End.

SIDENOTE: Many, many thanks to superduperkc for tips on html coding. Otherwise the ljcut would still be frakked. Speaking of which? The upgraded and improved lj? Upgraded it may be, but about the improvement? Could have fooled me. *is still grumpy*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

irnan.livejournal.com

This is BEAUTIFUL.

*mems*

From:

the mirror lj so far? Don't know yet.

Cadaver

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