Senses

Apr. 29th, 2007 10:13 pm
ultraviolet9a: (angry)
[personal profile] ultraviolet9a
>> Senses
 
TITLE: Senses
AUTHOR: [personal profile] ultraviolet9a
SPOILER: none. It’s pre-series, really. (maybe mild ones for Skin)
GENRE: Het. Gen-ish at some parts too.
CHARACTERS: John/OC
RATING: NC17. Because of some paragraphs/units, esp Nr4.
FEEDBACK: Dude…duh
DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned John. Or he owned me. You know. I can compromise. I’m not unreasonable. :)
SUMMARY: Skinwalker hunt. Blindfolds. Tying up. Force of wills. Hunting tutorials. John. All around the senses. That sort of thing. The order goes as Scent, Touch, Sight, Sound, Taste, and no, the themes will probably not be connected to the senses you expected.
NOTE: for [community profile] spn_het_love 's surprise challenge “Connect” where one must select one of the senses and use it as a starting point for a less than 500 words fic.The thing is, I wrote 500 word fics on each one of the senses, which can be independent but actually make up one whole story, so I’m posting it as one fic. I hope that’s alright.
NOTE2: Dear [personal profile] phantomas, this fic is for your birthday. The fic actually requested is currently uncooperative, but I hope that you find this to your liking too. Till I beat that other plot bunny into submission. Preferably with a sledgehammer. Or a chainsaw. Or something of the sort. :)
 

1. Scent
 
The sewer smells of blood and shit, as if everything revolves around this slaughterhouse/outhouse combo. John knows that smell, because this isn’t the first skinwalker he’s hunted down. Almost all of them burrow underground and he makes sure that they stay that way. Permanently.
 
John finds it easy to track them down. It’s as if the smoke and ashes in a nursery room years ago marked his sense of smell and now he can scent what shouldn’t be there, what must be taken out.
 
It takes one silver bullet to get rid of the bastard and three more to make sure it stays down.
 
Blood and shit and decaying flesh. Evil has got its own special scent, but that’s not the only whiff John gets.
 
There’s fear permeating everything, the musky texture going deeper than death.
 
She’s crouched against a wall, breathing as quietly as possible, gun still in hand. He guesses the shots got her here, like the cavalry in old cowboy gigs that shows up when it’s no longer needed.
 
He throws the beam of the flashlight at her. She’s a mess of sweat and dirt and tangles of hair and her hand is unresisting when he takes the gun away. He uncocks it, looks inside. Silver bullets.
 
He can almost scent the wetness behind her ears.
 
“You hurt?” he asks. She shakes her head. “Good. Now get back home and have a normal life. You ain’t got what it takes for this.”
 
Her mouth stiffens.
 
“You know shit about me. Now give me back my goddamn gun.”
 
He looks at her for a long time before he does. Because fuck-ups are part of the game; and underneath her fear and bravado, the wetness and the blood and the shit, he thinks he can also catch the scent of steel and darkness; the scent of a hunter.
 
He lets her help him get rid of the body.
 
2. Touch
 
She makes fine, even stitches and knows how to wrap a bandage the right way. She’s got a light touch, lighter than Bobby’s or Jim’s and she’s damn easier on the eyes too, that much John’s gotta admit.
 
Should have been a nurse, not a hunter. Tells her so. Expects some sort of fuck you from her.
 
She shakes her head instead.
 
“Wasn’t my first hunt, you know.”
 
“Really?” He cocks his eyebrow. “Could have fooled me.”
 
“Nearly died by a skinwalker some years ago,” she says, taking off the surgical gloves. “That’s why I froze.”
 
John lets the full weight of his gaze fall on her. She looks away.
 
“Some months ago,” she amends.
 
“How’d you know to use silver bullets?”
 
“I researched.”
 
He nods.
 
“It’s a good start.”
 
He moves to his bag, takes out his journal. The solid feel in his hands is comforting.
 
“You got to keep a journal,” he says. “Write down what you find out. Organize your knowledge.”
 
He puts it in her hands, moves pages around.
 
Shortnailed fingers tap at photographs.
 
“Who’re they?”
 
“My boys.”
 
“They look good.”
 
“They do.”
 
He leafs through.
 
“Organize,” he says. “The world’s a chaos but you got to keep some order if you want to stay alive.”
 
It’s her turn to raise her eyebrows.
 
“You call that order?”
 
He shrugs.
 
“It’s my order. Makes sense to me.”
 
“Any other words of wisdom?”
 
“Never let a stranger take the gun from your hand. And when you’re hunting, hunt. You can freeze and get scared shitless later. Or you’ll get yourself and anyone else around you killed.”
 
Now she’s putting away bandages, needles, hypoderms, antibiotics, back turned to him, and John sees a tension built up on her spine. Her shoulders begin to shake.
 
She closes the bag, then sits beside him. There are streaks of tears she rubs away with tight fists, like a child. His hand moves to her back by instinct, stroking in the lazy circles that always soothed his boys.
 
Ah, shit.
 
“Wasn’t hunting alone,” she says. Her voice isn’t steady. “Been chasing this son of a bitch for months. It knew. It took the shape…” She breaks off. She needs to say no more, John’s already put the pieces together.
 
“It took the shape of your partner to throw you off, didn’t it?” he asks. Her body radiates warmth against his palm. “That’s why you froze.”
 
She nods. He wants to tell her how she should back out while there’s still time. That death is always close at heel to both hunted and hunters, and it’s not just a brush or a mere touch. Sooner or later (and somehow it’s always sooner) it catches up with them. He doesn’t say anything.
 
They stay silent for a long time. John doesn’t take his hand away. She doesn’t move.

 
3. Sight
 
The blindfold feels wrong on her, she can’t see anything, it’s freaking her out. She tells him so in her most reasonable, scared voice, but he pulls her hands down when she tries to take it off.
 
“You got to trust me, Sara,” he says patiently. “If you want this to work, you gotta trust me.”
 
“Am I supposed to say yessir now?”
 
“That’d be optimum, yes.”
 
“John…”
 
“You asked for it.”
 
“I’m an idiot.”
 
“Not going to disagree with you on that one.”
 
“Fuck you, John.”
 
He slaps the back of her head.
 
“Mouth,” he warns.
 
“Sorry.”
 
“Good girl.”
 
He cradles her face between his palms. Thinks he can see her looking at him despite the blindfold.
 
“You know what you got to do, yeah?”
 
She nods between his fingers.
 
“Good girl.”
 
“Two times in a row,” she says. “You’re beginning to freak me out.”
 
“Trust me,” he says.
 
He helps her in the car, drives for a few miles. Then they pull over. They get out.
 
There’s an old warehouse there. John leads her inside, finding the way through the darkness with his flashlight, down to a small room, probably used as an office. Ties her up nice and tight.
 
“Free yourself,” he says. “And come and find me.”
 
“What if I don’t make it?”
 
“Make it.”
 
“What if I need to pee?”
 
“Then you’d better work fast.”
 
He locks the door behind him.
 
Gets outside, leans on the hood of the Impala, basks in the sunlight. It’s soft against him. He closes his eyes, the light etching strange patterns on his eyelids.
 
He hears before he actually sees her, because she’s grunting and swearing and cursing at him with his goddamned idea of keeping up shape and Zen bullshit exercising and how the hell had he convinced her to do that was beyond her. He is laughing hard as he walks to the door the minute she comes out. She’s got the blindfold in her hand. There are bruises where she stumbled and cuts on her hands as she tried to undo the rope first with a pocket knife she kept in her boots, then the shards of glass she felt beside her.
 
John cradles her face, pushes the hair back as she blinks in the sunlight, irises trying to adjust to sight after the self imposed darkness of the blindfold, then the darkness of the old edifice.
 
“Took you long enough,” he says. “I got bored.”
 
She punches him in the arm, winces at her own cuts.
 
“Shut up,” she says. “Those were the longest minutes of my life.”
 
“You did alright.”
 
“What would you have done if I hadn’t?”
 
“I would have left you there.”
 
She looks at him. He doesn’t move a muscle.
 
“No matter how hard I look, John, sometimes I still have no idea if you’re messing with me or not.”
 
“Part of my charm.”
 
She snorts. “Yeah, right.”
 
She stomps to the car, blindfold still in hand and doesn’t talk all the drive back to the motel. Not after the shower, not during their silent dinner. Only when they’re lying side by side in bed does she straddle him, tells him that payback’s a bitch and ties the blindfold around his eyes, but John is laughing too hard to complain about the lack of visual, and besides, he doesn’t really need to see in order to do what she wants done.
 
 
4. Sound
 
“Say my name,” John says. His fingers burrow in her mouth. She bites them, teeth hard, drawing pain, hot breath and saliva as she gasps, pants, breathes around him.
 
“Say my name,” he insists between his own gasps, pressing her down. He needs that anchor, can’t afford to fool himself with memories of a dead wife, lost in a body that moulds to his wishes and doesn’t demand recognition. He’s got to hear her, know that the voice is Sara’s, lie with her and not a ghost.
 
His fingers find her soft spot as he moves inside her, presses hard against her.
 
“Say my name, Sara.”
 
There’s hardness in his voice, and pleading, but she only pants and closes her eyes. He pushes harder. There’s a gasp of pain as her eyes open, widen in surprise and pain, but she refuses to give in. He thrusts harder and harder, small oh sounds of pain the only things she is willing to give, mouth red and flushed, heavy-lidded eyes watching him unguarded.
 
The sight of her eyes welled up, the flushed skin, open mouth, the small kernel of resistance in her only moments of utter abandon, his own power over her, send John over the edge.
 
He pins her wrists down biting hard on her shoulder and pumps harder, calling her name over and over again, till he can no longer hold it. He comes in one big wave of release and shudders against her.
 
He rolls off her immediately, turns on his side facing a paisley decorated wall, leaves her with the bite marks and the bruises around her wrists and her mouth and her cunt, doesn’t touch her, doesn’t care if she came, the drill sergeant part of him wanting to punish her for not. obeying.
 
“Goddammit,” he mutters. It stuns him that he is the one feeling hurt and defeated. “Goddammit.”
 
She spoons him. Wraps herself around him, breasts against his back, legs over his, arms moving from chest to shoulders. He can feel her breath on his neck, her palm on his shoulder.
 
Can feel her voice thrumming softly through him as she speaks.
 
“Mine’s not the voice you wanted to hear,” she says. “It’s ok. It’s ok if you think about her when we… It’s alright. I don’t mind. It doesn’t hurt me. You didn’t hurt me. We all carry ghosts.”
 
He closes his eyes. He’s tired. Feels like a bastard. Doesn’t know how to take it back.
 
“Sara,” he says. Doesn’t finish the plead.
 
“John,” she whispers and kisses the nape of his neck. “JohnJohnJohn.”
 
He reaches out and covers her hand with his palm drawing it to him. Kisses it gently before cradling it to his chest.
 
His hand is warm. His ring isn’t, and feels as heavy as memories.
 
5. Taste
 
He’s grown used to her taste. Not that he lingers or remembers it when he’s getting on with his life, boys, hunting. It’s just that whenever their paths cross, despite the long, long span in between, despite the women he’s bedded and the men she’s undoubtedly lain with (because a hunter’s life is so lonely flesh is the only comfort), when his mouth is on her the taste is familiar, unchanged. Taste of Sara. He thinks that he could recognize it even if he was blindfolded, and the thought makes him chuckle at the memory.
 
Her eyelids taste salty when he kisses them. Sweat or tears, he can’t tell, but that too is part of her taste.
 
They’ve shared some hunts. Some talking. Some time. She never asks for more than he can give. He never gives more than she asks for. It’s a good balance.
 
Separation ends always with the same goodbye dialogue.
 
“If you need help, you call me.”
 
“I will, you too. Fair trade, right?”
 
“You take care, Sara, alright?”
 
Nod, car, drive, miles.
 
Her taste lingers in his mouth long after their goodbyes. He never admits it.
 
 
-The End.
 
 
SIDENOTE: Sara is one of the few OFC I have written (gen girl here, thank you. :) ) and for some reason I really like her. She’s used in two more stories, though with less background on her and John’s presence way more dominant and a writing style/direction that is totally different. Stories are Close your eyes and think of summer and Snow’s just frozen water. Senses is a prequel to those, with Close your eyes being the final (and my favourite) thing.
 
Also, [personal profile] hiyacynth? You were right. Two words. Pre. Quel. Bliss. Heh.
 

Date: 2007-04-29 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hhhellcat.livejournal.com
Goddamn that was amazing. I liked the progression of their 'relationship', the reality of each scene and how they each pertained to a different sense. You did really well here V. *nods* Really brought each part to life.

Date: 2007-04-30 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you think so, thank you. :) John is always a pleasure to write. (and watch. And drool after. You get the picture.)

Date: 2007-04-29 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saberivojo.livejournal.com
This was really good. I liked 3 because you kind of sucker punched me. I love John as a mentor and authority figure and that really came through on this. Then they were in bed and wow, I was not planning on that. It works though. So keep it up.

Date: 2007-04-30 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I love John as a mentor and authority figure *points at own icon* Don't we all, dear. Don't we all. *sigh*

The bed thing...I kept the timeline vague on purpose. It's linear but how far in time each piece is set apart is probably up to the reader (ex John and Sara could already have had a physical relationship when Sight occurs OR she could have simply jumped his bones there for the first time, cuz hey, she's a smart girl. :) ) I'm glad the 'ship did work though. I'm still insecure about my het writing, so thank you!

Date: 2007-04-30 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saberivojo.livejournal.com
Hey, can I friend you? I love the way you write, I don't want to miss any of it.

Date: 2007-04-30 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Yeah, sure. :) Already friended you back. Speaking of which, I checked your user info, and hey, no wussing out. Take your writing out of the (metaphorical) drawer. Fandom is the best writing workshop ever. It makes you write more and it pushes you to work harder. Plus you get to play with pretty Winchester toys boys.

And if you're unsure about your writing, you can always find a beta, in this community.

http://community.livejournal.com/spn_betas/

But hey, join the fandom in more than one ways! It's FUN!

Date: 2007-04-30 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saberivojo.livejournal.com
I appreciate the encouragement or perhaps (metaphorical)kick in the butt. I have to admit, this is an amazing place to learn about writing. I just read and read and read. And am literally blown away by the people who write here. It is staggering the brilliance I find in this fandom. So thanks again. One of these days I may post something...

Date: 2007-04-30 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Encouragement. I don't do kicks. Unless I know someone really well.:)

Date: 2007-04-29 10:32 pm (UTC)
lark_ascends: Blue and purple dragonfly, green background (Default)
From: [personal profile] lark_ascends
Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.

Date: 2007-04-30 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Thank you! :)

Date: 2007-04-30 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hiyacynth.livejournal.com
Also, [livejournal.com profile] hiyacynth? You were right. Two words. Pre. Quel. Bliss. Heh.

I KNEW IT!!-slash-I TOLD YOU SO!!

Argh, that was so satisfying! Thank you!

“Fuck you, John.”

He slaps the back of her head.

“Mouth,” he warns.

“Sorry.”

“Good girl.”


I am such a failure as a feminist because that is the hottest set of dialogue I've read in ages.

Only when they’re lying side by side in bed does she straddle him, tells him that payback’s a bitch and ties the blindfold around his eyes, but John is laughing too hard to complain about the lack of visual, and besides, he doesn’t really need to see in order to do what she wants done.

*drymouth*

He’s got to hear her, know that the voice is Sara’s, lie with her and not a ghost.

OMG knowing how this story ends... that line is just harsh and creepy and perfect.

“John,” she whispers and kisses the nape of his neck. “JohnJohnJohn.”

Oh, holy cow that's hot.

Date: 2007-04-30 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I KNEW IT!!-slash-I TOLD YOU SO!! You're not going to play this one down, are you? *g*

I am such a failure as a feminist because that is the hottest set of dialogue I've read in ages. Thank you and me too. I get turned on by that potential of John. He just...It just... Makes me want to...argh. God that man. God that man! *facepalm*

*drymouth* *hands you a glass of water, pats you on the back, is SO there with you on that one*

*beams* I'm so glad this fic worked for you! Yei! *Pylean dance of joy*

Wow. WOW.

Date: 2007-04-30 10:18 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
You sure got into John's head but good. Love it that you draw the conflict that John would have about betraying Mary and that your OFC also have her own brand of baggage very well. You did a fantastic job here at introducing an OFC that feels real to the show.

*sighs in contentment*

-Labseraph

Re: Wow. WOW.

Date: 2007-04-30 01:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
:) Your comments always make me smile. Thank you.

The best thing to hear is that the OFC fits in. Yei!

And speaking of introduction, here's how it goes in a sort of opposite direction:

http://ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com/15844.html

(*hides under desk blushing after self pimping*)

Date: 2007-04-30 12:22 pm (UTC)
ext_5650: Six of my favourite characters (Default)
From: [identity profile] phantomas.livejournal.com
*steals fic and hides it* MINE!

:D

Okay, seriously? It works so DAMN well. All of it. It works as a challenge, it works as John/Sara, it works as Sara finding her way in the hunters world and having her own wounds, it works for John finding solace and companionship in a now-and-then partner, it works in the hot factor, because, uh...John all drill sergeant and stern and 'good girl' does things to me.
Yes.
Erm. :D
And part 4 is really smoking, because John is a bit of a bastard and *flails* this:
He rolls off her immediately, turns on his side facing a paisley decorated wall, leaves her with the bite marks and the bruises around her wrists and her mouth and her cunt, doesn’t touch her, doesn’t care if she came, the drill sergeant part of him wanting to punish her for not. obeying.

“Goddammit,” he mutters. It stuns him that he is the one feeling hurt and defeated. “Goddammit.”


Love it :)
thank you :D

Date: 2007-04-30 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
*Pylean dance of joy* You liked it! It worked for you! Mission accomplished!

And uhm...about the drill sergeant good girl and part 4...ehm...I might have channelled some of my personal kinks/love for tough John there. *hides under desk*

Date: 2007-04-30 03:30 pm (UTC)
ext_5650: Six of my favourite characters (Default)
From: [identity profile] phantomas.livejournal.com
*drags you out from under desk*
Do feel free and encouraged to channel some MORE! A lot more!

;)

Date: 2007-04-30 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Oh gods, I'm too scared to channel too much. My biggest fear in fandom is unintenionally Marysuing!

Date: 2007-04-30 07:17 pm (UTC)
ext_5650: Six of my favourite characters (Default)
From: [identity profile] phantomas.livejournal.com
Nah, you're too aware a writer for that ;)

Date: 2007-04-30 05:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zelost-mind.livejournal.com
Eeeeeeeee! You did het! Now, I'm not much of a John-girl, but that made the good kind of squirmy, just the same. He's so authoritative (guh!) and then so damaged at once. I really like the way you write John, it seems very true to me.

Your OFC is still a bit of mystery, and that's wonderful, too, compelling, y'know?

Date: 2007-04-30 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I did het. I'm still in denial about it. *g* (Kiiiidding. I read het, but writing it still makes me go all Huh?)

And hmm...it's a wild guess, but I think you are a Deangirl?

Am glad it made you squirm. That authority thing John's got going on? That fuckedup-ness about him? OH...GAAAAH. *facepalm*

I'm so glad you liked it!

ps, yes, I don't like to give details about Sara unless they are necessary. I'm thinking, in the show, all other characters that show up don't come with a CV, you just get to know them little by little if they are recurring. It kinda makes sense, no? Cuz the deal here is John. It's about him I think. The fact that you think it makes her more compelling just made me do a mental cartwheel of joy! :)

ps of ps: Heh, I read in elanurel that Fay is included in a brilliant character list! Yei! *more cartwheels* I SO like her! Congrats, babe! *confetti*

Date: 2007-04-30 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamstealthyone.livejournal.com
Very nicely done. I love your John voice throughout this piece, and the way you show him forging a new, important connection.

Comments, by part …

Scent

Interesting look at one of John’s encounters with another hunter. I like that, toward the end, he reassesses her and lets her help out a bit.

Favorite lines:

There’s fear permeating everything, the musky texture going deeper than death.

Great desription!

Touch

I like how he finds out a bit more about her here -- that she’s not on her first hunt, that she had a partner -- and I like how he tries to pass down some wisdom.

Favorite lines:

“You call that order?”

*g*

He shrugs.

“It’s my order. Makes sense to me.”


Yeah, sometimes one person’s mess is another person’s order.

Sight

Love this section. John+training=fun.

Favorite lines:

“What if I need to pee?”

“Then you’d better work fast.”


LOL!

“What would you have done if I hadn’t?”

“I would have left you there.”


Vintage John.

“No matter how hard I look, John, sometimes I still have no idea if you’re messing with me or not.”

“Part of my charm.”


*snickers*

Sound

Oh, this one hurts. John, so desperate for the connection but not getting it until the end, and then feeling loss even in the midst of it.

“Say my name,” he insists between his own gasps, pressing her down. He needs that anchor, can’t afford to fool himself with memories of a dead wife

Good analogy, with the anchor, and I love the need that bleeds into his voice here.

“Goddammit,” he mutters. It stuns him that he is the one feeling hurt and defeated. “Goddammit.”

Oh, John.

“Mine’s not the voice you wanted to hear,” she says.

This hurts. And merits another “Oh, John.”

“Sara,” he says. Doesn’t finish the plead.

“John,” she whispers and kisses the nape of his neck. “JohnJohnJohn.”


Lovely.

His hand is warm. His ring isn’t, and feels as heavy as memories.

Great, hurty analogy.

Tasty

Good ending section, nicely showing how this relationship, this woman, affects him.

Nod, car, drive, miles.

I really like the phrasing here. So much wrapped up in four words.

Her taste lingers in his mouth long after their goodbyes. He never admits it.

Oh, John. He feels so vulnerable here, but of course he doesn’t let her see that, has an image he has to maintain.

Date: 2007-05-01 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Heh! Glad you liked it! And thank you for your lovely comment. Esp the Vintage John part. For some reason your choice of words has me grinning like mad.

Date: 2007-05-01 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamzulma.livejournal.com
hi! i really enjoyed this, although i was surprised by your portrayal of john. he actually seems harsh here. nevertheless, i like how you used the five senses to show him getting acquainted with a female hunter in training. through this, he starts remembering her, getting used to her, but there's always mary in the back of his mind. woe!

Date: 2007-05-01 08:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked the story even if some aspects didn't work for you. Thank you so much for commenting! :)

As for the harshness, the way I see him at least, John has got some aspects of it, like everyone else. And anger (or despair or rage or pain) sometimes might get the better of him (which would explain why he had fallen out with a lot of his friends). In my head John (and he spends plenty of time there since I'm a John girl :) ) has tremendous capacity for caring, love, self sacrifice, but there can be moments of grittiness and utter fuckedup-ness.

Date: 2007-05-01 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mgbutterfly.livejournal.com
That was just beautiful. Just the right amount of angst. And the imagery just killed me. In a hurty good way. The ring? wow. That spoke volumes for me.

I love John. And I love the way you've written him. This is just BEAUTIFUL!

Date: 2007-05-01 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! :) I can't write John without even the tiniest bit of angst. He just looks so good in it!

And yei! That makes two of us (the love John thing, I mean.)

Date: 2007-05-01 10:24 pm (UTC)
ext_13391: (Default)
From: [identity profile] smilla02.livejournal.com
This is absolutely terrific. This John is so vulnerable behind the tough facade, I think I broke a little here:
It’s ok. It’s ok if you think about her when we… It’s alright. I don’t mind. It doesn’t hurt me. You didn’t hurt me.
Damn...

Date: 2007-05-02 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I like fucked up John. And tough son of a bitch John. And marshmellow deep down John. :)

Am all whee that you liked it!

Date: 2007-05-04 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somersaulter.livejournal.com
Wonderful piece. I really love John's voice in it. Recc'd over at [livejournal.com profile] crack_impala in this post (http://community.livejournal.com/crack_impala/20461.html).

Date: 2007-05-04 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Yei! *Snoopy dance of joy* Thank you so much!

Date: 2007-05-07 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenniferkaos.livejournal.com
- she let him tie her up!? he can tie me up anyday! haha

- this was really good...very well written!

Date: 2007-05-09 12:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
I think the tying up bit is going to have many volunteers.

So glad you liked it, thank you!

Date: 2007-05-23 01:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boyfaster.livejournal.com
I...I...skdjfnvjeraweigv.

No that wasn't Norweigan for 'great' (I don't think) - you just done fried my friggin brain is all!!

That was remarkable. I don't think this John is a stretch at all, I think he was hard as hell as a 'teacher'.

Fave line: His hand is warm. His ring isn’t, and feels as heavy as memories.

I want to have your babies solely for that line :D Awesome fic.

Date: 2007-05-23 01:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Heh! That's one of my fav writings and one of my fav John versions, so if that fried your brain, I'm a happy woman!

Thank you so, so much!

Date: 2008-03-07 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erinrua.livejournal.com
Oh, honey, the things you do to my heart .... I love Sara. She's so real, so brittle and strong and fully dimensional, and John is so entirely human. *sighhh* I'll just be over here, huddled in a little ball of melancholly. ;-)
Cheers ~

Erin

Date: 2008-03-07 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
Ah man, don't be blue. *cuddles* But you like Sara! Awesome! I rarely write OFCs (crossovers are more fun, no?) so yeeei!

Date: 2009-02-09 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] animotus.livejournal.com
YOU ARE SO IN TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You start writing a John story right now!What a freaking awesome look at his character,well...I adore him so much it's not even funny,but I rarely read good fics with him!And this one?It's liek you read my mind bb!
“It’s ok. It’s ok if you think about her when we… It’s alright. I don’t mind. It doesn’t hurt me. You didn’t hurt me. We all carry ghosts.”
♥♥♥

*runs to read the other ones*

Date: 2009-02-09 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com
*giggles* Heeeeeh! I love John, I really do. And I really want to get back on the horse, so to speak, and write.

Thank you, lovely!

Date: 2009-02-09 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] animotus.livejournal.com
AnI was going to say something like "you MUST start again etc..." but I think I'm being very pathetic and ridiculous so I'll just shut up,hoping that one day I will read something special and new by ultraviolet!;D

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