ext_30292 ([identity profile] iamzulma.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] ultraviolet9a 2007-05-01 12:11 am (UTC)

hi! i really enjoyed this, although i was surprised by your portrayal of john. he actually seems harsh here. nevertheless, i like how you used the five senses to show him getting acquainted with a female hunter in training. through this, he starts remembering her, getting used to her, but there's always mary in the back of his mind. woe!

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